Dear Advertisers,
If you put the big red sign saying ‘DONT SKIP’ I will be 99% more inclined to skip the ad.
Face it- We’re coming on youtube to watch our video. Yes, we might be procrastinating. Yes, the video is probably something dumb. But that does not mean I suddenly want to get up and go to McDonalds.
Really. It doesn’t.
The only reason your ad will ever get me to download your thing is if I think it’ll make YOU STOP!
You’re not quirky. Or cool.
Trust me we have seen it all. When someone driving suddenly turns into a coffee ad. When you try to make me laugh.
Don’t get me started on when you start with “There’s a 90% chance you’re going to skip this-“
Uh, yeah! Bye Felicia!
If you show me someone devouring what you’re selling or using it enthusiastically, I will not:
a. Suddenly be rich
b. Suddenly have the need for your product
c. Suddenly be engrossed and inclined to watch the whole video
I will not suddenly anything so don’t get your hopes up. If I’m buying something, I was already buying it before, so you’re pointless.
And especially to you creepy ads about the things I just watched videos on. Stop.
Special note to Liberty Mutual
At this point- I don’t even know what you’re company is about. I just know you’re annoying. And that I can only buy what I need with you. And you “jUsT sAiD tHaT”. ALL YOUR ‘NEW’ MARKETING TECHNIQUES AREN’T WORKING SO GIVE IT UP AND FIND A NEW JOB!
Special note to monday.com
I do not manage a team. I will never manage a team.
But if I DO manage a team?
I will never EVER consider using you.
Special note to Grammarly:
How. Just how do you keep coming up with stuff? I swear I’ve memorized half your scripts by now.
‘Writing’s not that eas-‘
YEAH NO DUH IM TRYING TO WATCH A YOUTUBE VIDEO ABOUT IT LEAVE ME ALONE!
And Tyler’s relationship problems are not going to convinve me either.
You know why?? I already have you. So leave. Me. Alone!
You’re already popular, what more do you want?! You’re a meme. You’re a literal tik tok sound. You win the award for most annoying business. You’re like an eager teen businessperson trying to nag me into selling your things. STOP!
Special note to Squarespace
I hate to break this to you…I mean, really, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m using WordPress.
And to all the advertisers that make my procrastination last at least five seconds longer?
I say this from the bottom of my heart-
๐ฎ๐๐๐
With love,
Every person who’s watched YouTube ever
